Why YA ‘cure-all romance’ sucks!


A lot of Young Adult fiction these days implies that love is a cure-all, but is that really the case?
I adore contemporary books that describe reality without sugar-coating it, and I love authors who let their characters feel lonely and depressed sometimes. That’s what real life is like. There’s not always a happy ending to every story.

by Amanda

“My life was horrible, and I felt terrible about myself. But then I met the most handsome and wonderful guy in the whole universe with eyes that shined like stars, and we fell in love and all my problems suddenly disappeared!”

I love YA, and I read a lot of it – but lately I’ve started to feel annoyed by one specific area in Young Adult fiction: ROMANCE!

When you’re a teenager, you spend a lot of your time thinking about love, and naturally Young Adult fiction reflects this. But it’s not the romance in itself that is the problem; in fact, I don’t think YA would be the same if it didn’t contain a little romance.

My issue concerning romance in YA is that it’s always there, no matter if it does something good for the story or not. Sometimes it seems like many authors think that teenagers only want to read about love, and that a story can’t be great if there isn’t a romance with a happy ending involved.

Often, I find that romance becomes such a huge part of the book that there isn’t room for the really important stuff; the personal development. It makes me feel like the book is trying to tell me that love cures everything, and, in my opinion, that is not a message any book should send out.

When reality gets sugar-coated

I read a book a few weeks ago with a very interesting and promising plot, which left me feeling disappointed and frustrated. (I won’t tell you which book it was since it would be a huge spoiler. It isn’t ‘Suicide Notes’).

At first the main character wants to kill herself for several reasons. Everything seems hopeless and she doesn’t see any reason to stay alive. Then she meets some guy with whom she falls in love. Suddenly, she changes her mind about committing suicide and seems to forget all her problems after she has known the guy for a total of three weeks, and then they both end up living happily ever after.

It left me feeling betrayed as a reader. It didn’t feel real to me, and sadly the same type of vague endings apply to many other YA books I’ve read.

Sometimes things just suck

In reality, things are usually a little more complex. Unless you’re really lucky, the right person won’t just find you by accident when your life hits the bottom and everything feels hopeless. Sometimes things just suck, and no one but yourself is there to save you.

Personally, I think every book we read should have a lesson to teach us, and “love cures depression and suicidal thoughts” is not a good one. It’s not fair to severely depressed people to describe depression as something that has such a simple solution.

I want books about real people with real problems, and I want to see these people actually getting better, and not just because they are in love.

Where did the unrequited love go?

We can all relate to how it feels to be in love with someone who doesn’t love us back – it happens to teenagers all the time. We fall in love with musicians, actors or simply the popular guy/girl from school whom it seems impossible for us to talk to. In reality love is often unrequited so why not include this in more stories?

It just seems too easy to always give the characters a happy ending with infinite amounts of happiness and love when the reality is that practically all of us, at some point, will experience unrequited love.

I think it’s relieving to read a story where the main character is hopelessly in love with someone who doesn’t feel the same way about them. It feels so much more real, and usually the character ends up going through much more personal development than it’s the case in books with a happy romantic ending.

At some point, he or she starts to see that their crush isn’t really as perfect as they thought at first, and eventually they’ll move on and start being happy with themselves instead.

Love won’t save you

The books I’ve read that has really blown me away with their awesomeness is actually the ones wherein the main character’s depressive thoughts didn’t get cured by love. I adore books that dare to reflect reality as it is, but still leaves you with a feeling of hope when you finish it.

An example of such a book is ‘The Fault in Our Stars’ by John Green. Most of you has probably either read it or heard a lot about it. To me, that book is special. First of all because it was the first English book I ever bought, and the one that made me get into YA in the first place. Secondly, because it has so much to say. It’s so much more than just a love story. Not that the romance isn’t great; it really is, but it doesn’t cure any of the main characters’ problems.

Hazel still has cancer after she meets Augustus, and they fall in love. She has some really bad days and her life is definitely not perfect. All the time, I felt like I was right there with them because the whole story feels so real. It deals with the ugly side of life in a way I had never experienced before when I first read the book.

It dares to describe life as it sometimes is: totally unfair!

That’s what I want to read about!


I suggest reading …

YA Contemporaries where the main character isn’t hopelessly in love with someone he can’t have:

‘Me and Earl and the Dying Girl’ by Jesse Andrews.

Rachel, a girl from Greg’s high school, has just been diagnosed with leukemia, and she’s feeling everything but cheerful. Greg, being the funny guy he is, should be able to cheer her up – at least that’s what his mother thinks when she forces him to befriend her. While Rachel is getting sicker and sicker and Greg’s attempts to make her happy don’t work at all, he turns to Earl, the closest thing to a friend he has. In an attempt to let her know that she’s special, they decide to make a movie for her. But things don’t go as smooth as planned. Rachel isn’t really the fighter everyone expects her to be, and Greg and Earl find themselves in a difficult situation – how do you make a difference for someone who has already given up?

‘Anything Could Happen’ by Will Walton.

Fifteen year-old Tretch is totally in love with his best friend, Matt. The only problem is that Matt isn’t gay.. Months pass by while Tretch is trying to forget about his feelings, but it’s not that easy. When Matt begins dating the beautiful girl he’s been having a crush on for a year, Tretch realizes that Matt has absolutely no idea about his feelings for him. While trying to handle the already difficult situation he’s in, Tretch learns that other things are threatening him and the people he cares about the most. Things are changing. Will Tretch ever find the strength to stand up for the person he really is?

‘Suicide Notes’ by Michael Ford.

When Jeff wakes up in a psychiatric hospital after a suicide attempt on New Years Eve, he learns that he has to stay there for a forty-five-day program, and he is convinced that he has been misplaced. He’s not even half as crazy as the other kids in the psychiatric ward, and he doesn’t understand why his doctors and parents won’t let him come home already. However, as the days pass by, he gets to know the others, and he starts to see that he needs to face his problems if he ever wants to be happy for real again.

What do you think about romance in Young Adult novels?

Does YA imply that love is a cure-all in your opinion?


Comments

12 svar til “Why YA ‘cure-all romance’ sucks!”

  1. Zaynab Bazzi Avatar
    Zaynab Bazzi

    Hello there. A very well written article and I do agree with you in so many point.
    Unfortunately, insta-love, as they call it, dominates the contemporary YA genre a lot.
    Personally, don’t read so much in this genre, but mostly fantasy/urban fantasy in the different age labels; middle grade, YA, New Adult and at times Adult. Of course more than often there will be romance in these books but they’re not the dominant part of the story l.
    To get back to the topic, yes insta-love is in no way realistic but lots of people happily read them to escape reality. In my opinion, I think that’s totally fine as long as you acknowledge that love cannot cure your e.g. depression and that these stories are a long way from the truth.
    When that is said, yes I totally agree with you – we need more contemporary romance that views love in a more realistic way.

    And I would also recommend The Luxe series by Anna Godbersen, which is a historical ya fiction.

    1. I’m really glad you liked the article 🙂
      You’re definitely right about how insta-love dominates contemporary YA books, but it’s just a shame that it has to be that way.
      I like reading other genres, too, especially middle grade since I find that these books often contain more realistic themes without the romance.
      I like your point about how some people maybe read these insta-love books to escape reality. I think it’s very true (in some cases).
      And thanks for the recommendation! I haven’t heard a lot about that series before so I’ll definitely check it out when I need a new book to read next time! 🙂

  2. I really enjoyed the intro, it was well written and put into words what some of us readers go around and hat about YA.

    (det føles underligt at skrive på engelsk når jeg ved du er dansk, så resten bliver på dansk)

    Jeg syndes du skulle måske have gjort mere ud af at udtrykke at Greg (me and earl and the dying girl) ikke ønsker at blive venner med Rachel, men ellers en fin kort “spoiler fri” besked.

    1. Thank you! I’m glad you liked it!
      You’re right about that, I’m going to add it to the description of the book since it’s important for the story 🙂

  3. Spændende læsning – dejligt at læse om Young Adult genren og især godt få den defineret og formuleret af en ung læser. Skarpe anmeldelser, tak for dem 🙂 Jeg vil bestemt læse med fremover og også dele guldkornene med mine bibliotekarvenner på mit bibliotek 🙂
    Mange hilsner
    Gitte

    1. Thank you for your comment, it’s so nice to know that you liked my article 🙂

  4. Natacha Avatar
    Natacha

    Hey Amanda!
    What an amazing article, and so well written! 🙂

    Some of the things you mentioned really had me thinking, and I agree with you in some of the things you’re saying. I most definitely agree with the fact, that love always have to be the solution to everything, when in real life, it isn’t. At the same time, I have some mixed feelings. Because I love romantic stories and novels, and I read a lot of them – because of the epic love, even though I know it isn’t real. I think maybe, that’s why I love them so much, because they aren’t real and I know that. Nonetheless I have to agree with you, that sometimes the author just puts in a love story to amuse the reader, where sometimes, all we want is the plot of the book, and not some love story on the side.

    But nonetheless this was an amazing article, which really made me think (which I guess was the idea of it) so well done! And I look forward to more! 🙂

    – Natacha

    1. Hey Natacha! I’m really glad you liked the article, and that it made you think 🙂
      I think you’re right about the epic love stories. Sometimes it’s just nice to read something that is totally unrealistic, and maybe it’s the fact that we know how it’ll never happen in real life that makes it so appealing to read.

      The issue for me is that I’m often unable to sympathize with the characters if the story (and/or the romance) seems unreliable and unreal. I like when a book has a lesson to teach us, and I often find that I don’t really learn anything from the ‘insta-love/cure-all’ love stories.

  5. Very fine post – I like your way of thinking but at some points I have a different opinion than you – even though I can totally understand where you’re going and what you’re talking about.
    I have read a lot of YA-books where it doesn’t necessarily focus on romance – but usually, as you’re saying, it always involves a bit of tiny romance – and I like it that way. Even though the book has got another theme or plot going on, a sidekick of romance is never bad, in my opinion.
    About the happy ending I follow you completely – there doesn’t always have to be a happy ending for the book to be good (or rather amazing). I can think of severel books, which made me cry a river, but which I treasure with all of my heart because they were good books – without happy endings.
    I get that you don’t want the message to be ‘love cure everything’ but I –understand- why it sometimes can. Besides endorphins and stuff like that in your brain (which naturally makes you happier) a break from your daily routine, or a person who makes you happy can be the thing you need sometimes. And other times, it doesn’t help and you still feel like shit. I think it depends on the person.
    The thing about the book feeling ‘real’ or ‘true’ is different from reader to reader I guess. We read books based upon our own life and our experiences in it – so if someone really have tried to fall deeply in love within a month, then they can probably relate to that book, which you mentioned you didn’t like.
    I like your point about that “No one can save you but yourself”-ish and I agree that this is a very important theme to bring on to especially teenagers. They can’t just sit around and wait for a miracle or for someone to fix things – they have to do it for themselves.
    We also need books about unrequited love – I agree – but I think it’s difficult to write about if you want your reader to continue reading. A lot of people read books to ‘feel better’ or ‘escape from reality’ but if the books just slap them in their face and explain that they can’t get a happy ending – I think most people will lose their hope. I agree – as I mentioned before – that there don’t have to be a happy ending. But good things also has to happen for the people in the book to make the reader happy and satisfied.
    So basicly, I think we need both kinds of stories. The stories that doesn’t get a happy ending and the ones that does. We need unrequited love and we need ‘true’ love (or instant romance-love w/e). We need different kind of books for different kind of people who appreciate different things. Sometimes I really enjoy books even though they have instant-love – it all depends on the story/plot, theme and especially the writing. I like to read both! 🙂

    On a final note I want to reccomend “All The Bright Places” by Jennifer Niven. I absolutely love and adore that book!

    – Rikke Simonsen
    http://www.flyvmedmig.dk

    1. Hey Rikke! Thank you so much for your comment 🙂 You have some very interesting things to say about this. Especially the thing about how everyone is different and like different stories because of what we’ve experienced in our own lives. If you’ve experienced something like it, you’ll naturally feel more connected to the story.
      Regarding “All The Bright Places”, I’ve already read it, and I absolutely LOVED it! 😀 I considered mentioning it in the article, but I decided not to since I don’t know how to explain the reason I love it without spoiling too much of the story 🙂
      But yeah, it’s definitely a great example of a book where the romance does something good for the story. Even though not everything in the book was realistic it didn’t do any harm. I found myself sympathizing with the characters more and more as the story progressed, and that is definitely due to the writing. Jennifer Niven really knows how to tell a story. It actually surprised me how good the book turned out to be. I expected it to have some cure-all issues, but it turned out not to be the case at all 🙂

      At the moment, I’m writing a review of “Simon vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda”, a book you should definitely read as soon as possible if you liked All The Bright Places 🙂

      1. You’re welcome! 😀
        Thank you – I’m glad you got where I was going with everything.
        And I’m SO glad to hear that you loved that book aswell! It is one of the best book I’ve read this year so far – and when I started it I also felt like it would be “just another YA-novel” but it turned out to be so much more than I expected. I gave it 4 stars at first (out of 5) but the book and its characters kept haunting me so eventually I rased it to 5. I talk about it all the time and I often think about it – I also did a interview with Jennifer Niven on my blog which I’m SO happy about!

        I couldn’t decide whether I wanted to read ‘Simon vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda” or not but based on your recommendation I’ve put it on my to-read shelf on Goodreads! 😀

        1. That’s awesome! I really like your blog (at least the posts I’ve read so far), so I’ll definitely check out the interview 🙂
          I rated it 5 stars, too. I loved how it dealt with some pretty serious issues, but still left me with a good feeling in the end.

          I’m glad that you decided that you want to read it! A lot of people on Goodreads (and the rest of the internet) love it, and yeah, it’s just awesome 😀

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